Live Again

Wanting to live again 

Remembering how to breathe

Fighting the temptation 

To believe all that they say

Reminding myself

Of the things once realized 

I had forgotten

Like what really matters to me

The path where I found my way

I took a different path

And it led me astray

But I won't let it get away 

I had a dream and a knowing 

And I can't just let it fade

There is a purpose for this passion 

And a reason why other things are trying to take me away

Maybe it's so powerful

That they know

And impactful

That they'd rather it not be that way

In that case

I have to make it stay

God, help me find my way 

Lead me

Let me live in faith 

Take the risk

Truly believe in my heart

Even if it's hard 

I want to make a way 

I need to make a way

There has to be a way

I will live again today 

Go Again

Coffee on my breath

Deep exhales from my chest

My dogs fur all over the floor

A laundry list of things to be done before 4

A business to get going

A body to get moving

A butt to get firmer 

A house to get cleaner

Rent to collect and pay

Excuses for the thing that don't get done today

Snap, crackle, pop

I hear my 8 yr old self say

Silly things that don't matter

Stop letting them get in the way

She says

You have the power 

To overcome that today

Thinking about the friends and memories 

I used to make my whole world 

My identity

I still do it sometimes 

Only now

With the love of my life

The man I get to call my

Lover and best friend

We have the greatest relationship I know

And I still do it to him

Wrapping myself up

Placing my identity in his hands

Asking from him something he can't give

And even if he did

It'd be unsustainable to go on 

I'm taking a 7 day vacay

And I wont see him for 10 days

I'm sure I'll learn a lot

Letting my mind run around a new place

We chose

For it to be this way

Growing together

Rather than meeting later

We wanted to be a platform 

A hand up for each other

I'm still learning how to give myself

As much love as I give my lover

As much of a struggle

As this is 

I don't believe it means we shouldn't be together

I've met couples that let things like growth

Force them to leave each other

So that can live indecently or think for thmselves

I don't think it's wrong

I just don't think it's us

Everything else

Is just something we get to overcome

We love to be with one another though the process

What is a relationship without tension?

Or more importantly-resolution  

I know one think for sure

It been the key to our success and passion 

I'm grateful to have a man

Who accepts me in progress

Cause maybe I'll always be in progress

I think that's a great state 

Working to always better myself

Thank God for him 

For loving me when I've run out of umph 

When I let myself get into s slump

For always lifting me up

Encouraging me to go again 

I love you, my love

With you I'll always go again 

What Matters

A good friend asked me something

It had me re evaluating my life

She asked me about death 

And how I'd rather go

Would I rather not know 

Or know it be six months from now

I don't think any way is right or better

But I do think it brings to light something 

Like knowing today could be my last 

Rather than pretending like it'll never end

You see

If you really think

We're lying to ourselves 

If we believe

The deceit 

That this life is unbreakable 

To get into the routine 

Of this thing

We call "everyday"

Or to get too busy that friends and family

Start to get in the way

We all know what matters

But we put it off til later

So we can pursue what we want now 

But now soon becomes later

And later will always become now

So it's time to stop fooling 

There is no second time around 

Put off what we want 

And let matters that matter become our now

I'd rather live for what matters 

Than live for what I want

Instead of living for what I want

And realizing later what matters

So don't ask yourself what you want

Ask yourself what matters