Sun & Moon

Do you really love me

Or do you just say I love you so that I will love you

I so desperately wish to fix

Your brokenness and insecurities 

All the good things get the best of me 

I've spent 21 years building up who I am

By the only man

Who will ever tell me what I'm worth

All the way to death with stakes in his hands

All you can see is your past

You're blanketing it over me

It's like painting white roses

Something other than they were meant to be

Send to me

A sunflower

Petals in bloom

Yellow as ever 

Reflecting like the moon

Bring me the sunshine 

Plus the right amount of rain

Don't overload me with this pain

Drowning me out

Overcoming the light

My wings
Are too damp to take flight 

Trapped by the best and worst of every part of myself

Magnified

Don't tell me I am less than I am

Make me soar and touch the sky 

Then flick me into a fearful night 

So entranced by the sun

I forgot it goes down

When I awake it's always dark now

I seem to be sleeping 

While the sun's in the background 

Closing my eyes 

On the night shift

I can't see in the dark forever 

With a temporary glow stick

I want the highs

Want to lie 

In your dazed eyes 

I want the natural comfort of your presence

To keep me in that paradise

Now I recall the day

When you sent me the picture of an eclipsing moon

Transitioning from a bright darkish grey 

To full black

And back

Again

The eclipse is you

Now I understand

I want to give you the strength to overcome your eclipse

But you're a moon and you live for the shifts

It's your natural progression

I can't change your cycle

Just know I'll always be with you

On the other side of the earth

Loving you from a distance 

I accept that you'll never see

Someone's worth

When the sun and moon shine 

On opposite sides

Right Now

Is here

And it's all I have

In a season of treason

Past and future keep teasin

Ready to let go and release them

Two parts of time

Taking my away

From a present state of mind

Tempting my eyes

To look ahead and behind

Now is all we have

So we're living our own lives instead

Other ideals

Holds us back from OUR own real

We form our own rights and wrongs

Quit singing along

Write your own song

Good Soil

Alone

In my bedroom

Letting all my thoughts roam

Thinking about my life and how

I've had so many let downs

I'm feelin like it's looking up

Finally failed enough

Learning to accept it with an open heart

Always be okay to push restart

There's no way I'm going down again

I've built my tribe

I've got real friends

The kind you love enough

To say you hate

The real ones

Point out the bait

Keeping my head low

Been out of water

One too many times

What I used to call coincidence

Isn't by chance

I'm convinced

Training my heart and my mind

To conceive, believe, desire, achieve

The next level of me

The world isn't out there

It's inside my head

Conquering my memory

Is the most powerful part of the world to be conquering

Living in a shadow

That's been growing my whole life

Picking out the darkness

Letting it shatter itself in the light

The night

Numbs distractions

Puts the gears of my thoughts to action

Running on automatic

Trying to listen to life

All I'm hearing is static

Building a new garden

Planting new seeds

Turn the subconscious into a positiveness

On which it feeds

Red Painted Rose Lips

We all want a piece of the action

We want the excitement and adventurous passion

When my soul is feeling low

I find myself looking for something 

I think is beyond what is already here

A perspective maybe

A clear state of mind

Blind

I think

So far behind

Acceptance I desire

Messing around in the same familiar fire 

Opening myself up too soon

Always the biggest mistake 

Letting in masked wolves 

To roam with other sheep in my gate

Realizing when it's too late

I'm too smart to be dumb

Act ignorant about it all

I'm the only one to blame 

When it comes to this fall

Why do I settle for less

Than the best

When the real good stuff comes

Not feelin the chemistry

So I fight and I yearn

Create pictures and visions

Of things never earned 

Allowing the depths of my heart to be opened

By thieves of the night

Requesting to love me 

Leaving me more distressed and burdened than before

Stress and anger are my enemy 

I'd do anything

To never let it get the best of me

Your red painted rose lips made what was wrong seem right

I listened with my ears and my logic took flight

I let the words make sense for your actions 

Took the blame for your insecurities

What you were lacking

I reflected myself and my spiritual health

Into a blacked out mirror

Not looking at myself

Wondering how it wasn't clearer

I saw in you only what I could see in me

You did just the same

So who's to blame

That's a stupid game

The word love came out

Of both our mouths

I don't think we knew 

What we were sayin

We cannot erase the past 

So now rewriting our response to it

It's the only thing with much logic 

Freedom

I'm reminded as we lift into the clouds

Engines roaring loud

Propelling us into the weightlessness

I'm reminded of the peaceful bliss

The breathtaking view 

A perspective larger than eye's level

I'm reminded of a bigger picture 

the percentage of zoom needed to back up a little

I was too close

Unable to see the whole thing

We're breaking through the fog

Rising in elevation

Tearing through the blanket over our heads

I feel the warmth kiss my cheeks

And I see it

It's always there

I just chose to allow the lies 

Fog my mind

Block out the truth

Bury the sun's light 

From shining on me like

It's suppose to 

Laying on the beach doesn't mean

You soak up the rays

Especially with a beach towel

Over you